How often do we refuse to try or continue something out of fear of failure? I did it a lot when I was younger. I quit gymnastics because I thought the instructor was mean. I quit karate because I was afraid to go to tournaments because I didn’t want to get hurt. Heck, even though I loved to sing, I constantly refused solo parts because I was afraid of being the center of attention.
I remember back in high school I wanted to break that fear I had of performing on-stage without a chorus crowd to hide within. My chorus teacher suggested that I sing a verse in the closing of our Black History Program. Just…a…verse. The song was Mary Mary’s “Can’t Give Up Now”, one of my favorite songs at the time that I could sing in my sleep! I should be able to do ONE verse!
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Everyone was rotating on and off the stage doing their skits, the red curtains were opening and closing again, and I was in a corner about to have a freaking panic attack! I had no idea what just happened on stage! I just knew that it was getting closer for me to go out into that open space with the lights beaming down for the whole gymnasium to see. I softly sang the whole song to myself to try to calm my nerves, though to no avail. Finally, it got to the finale and I was in the corner trying to keep my heart from bursting! My part came up, I walked out onto the stage to the tempo of the instrumental, I looked out into the audience, and I…forgot…the words…
I just saw an endless collection of eyes staring and froze like a deer in headlights, but in this case, it was stage lights shining like the sun above my head! Once my (missed) part was over, the rest of the crew came out onto the stage to sing the closing chorus as I did my best to hide behind whoever I could until the curtains closed. As soon as that sliver of heavy red fabric touched each other at center stage, I took off running behind the stage and cried.
I wanted so badly to prove that I could conquer my fears, and I failed. I could hear people moving around me, but I was too ashamed to look up from my crouched position to acknowledge anyone. Soon enough, my chorus teacher found me, stood me up, and gave me a hug. Then she told me something that day that I would carry with me for the rest of my life:
“I am so proud of you. We all knew that you were afraid, but you still pushed yourself to try.”
She explained that was all that mattered: I tried. My classmates filed in around me and confessed areas that they too had messed up and were not proud of their moments either, but they too had TRIED.
It’s been over a decade since that show, and I still think back to it every now and then. From that period, I’ve participated in talent shows (somewhere I was told to move around more), presentations (I was told to fidget less), group sessions (need to share my ideas more confidently), and many more events that required me to step out of my comfort zone and TRY, regardless of the outcome and critique.
Was I afraid? Of course! And I still afraid? A lot of times, yes. As much as I was over a decade ago? Surprisingly, no. I still get nervous. I still get stage fright. But looking back, I wonder how far I would have come had I not tried (and failed) back then.
But many of those mistakes will be what will lead us towards our success. So, don’t refuse to try due to fear of failure because those missteps might currently just be successful mistakes.
For more information, I highly recommend Todd Dewett’s course “Learning from Failure” on LinkedIn Learning. It’s about 30 minutes of valuable information about using our mistakes to help lead us towards success! If you don’t have an account and would like to try a free trial of LinkedIn Learning, visit https://kyrabestories.com/LinkedInLearning
Now I want to hear from you! Have you experienced something that changed your life, or have you ever made a mistake that helped transform you into who you are today? Please share your stories in the comments below! If you think this story will help a friend, please share. If you enjoyed the blog, please subscribe to our newsletter!
And remember to live life one story at a time.
Take care,
Kyndall Bennett from Kyrabe Stories
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