Photo by Rob Laughter on Unsplash
How often do we refuse to try or continue something out of fear of failure? I did it a lot when I was younger. I quit gymnastics because I thought the instructor was mean. I quit karate because I was afraid to go to tournaments because I didn’t want to get hurt. Heck, even though I loved to sing, I constantly refused solo parts because I was afraid of being the center of attention.
I remember back in high school I wanted to break that fear I had of performing on-stage without a chorus crowd to hide within. My chorus teacher suggested that I sing a verse in the closing of our Black History Program. Just…a…verse. The song was Mary Mary’s “Can’t Give Up Now”, one of my favorite songs at the time that I could sing in my sleep! I should be able to do ONE verse!
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Well…the day came to perform.
Everyone was rotating on and off the stage doing their skits, the red curtains were opening and closing again, and I was in a corner about to have a freaking panic attack! I had no idea what just happened on stage! I just knew that it was getting closer for me to go out into that open space with the lights beaming down for the whole gymnasium to see. I softly
I forgot what song we were even singing!
I just saw an endless collection of eyes staring and froze like a deer in headlights, but in this case, it was stage lights shining like the sun above my head! Once my (missed) part was over, the rest of the crew came out onto the stage to sing the closing chorus as I did my best to hide behind whoever I could until the curtains closed. As soon as that sliver of heavy red fabric
I had failed.
I wanted so badly to prove that I could conquer my fears, and I failed. I could hear people moving around me, but I was too ashamed to look up from my crouched position to acknowledge anyone. Soon enough, my chorus teacher found me, stood me up, and gave me a hug. Then she told me something that day that I would carry with me for the rest of my life:
“I am so proud of you. We all knew that you were afraid, but you still pushed yourself to try.”
She explained that was all that mattered: I tried. My classmates filed in around me and confessed areas that they too had messed up and were not proud of their moments either, but they too had TRIED.
It’s been over a decade since that show, and I still think back to it every now and then. From that period, I’ve participated in talent shows (somewhere I was told to move around more), presentations (I was told to fidget less), group sessions (need to share my ideas more confidently), and many more events that required me to step out of my comfort zone and TRY, regardless of the outcome and critique.
Was I afraid? Of course! And I still afraid? A lot of times, yes. As much as I was over a decade ago? Surprisingly, no. I still get nervous. I still get stage fright. But looking back, I wonder how far I would have come had I not tried (and failed) back then.
We’re all going to make mistakes.
But many of those mistakes will be what will lead us towards our success. So, don’t refuse to try due to fear of failure because those
For more information, I highly recommend Todd Dewett’s course “Learning from Failure” on LinkedIn Learning. It’s about 30 minutes of valuable information about using our mistakes to help lead us towards success! If you don’t have an account and would like to try a free trial of LinkedIn Learning, visit https://kyrabestories.com/LinkedInLearning
Now I want to hear from you! Have you experienced something that changed your life, or have you ever made a mistake that helped transform you into who you are today? Please share your stories in the comments below! If you think this story will help a friend, please share. If you enjoyed the blog, please subscribe to our newsletter!
And remember to live life one story at a time.
Take care,
Kyndall Bennett from Kyrabe Stories
Such good advice! Of course we are all going to fail but as you put it, that failure might just be successful mistakes. Wasn’t it Edison who said he had not failed but successfully identified 999 ways it did not work? Good post!
I know what quote you are referring to and it’s been one of the most powerful and encouraging quotes that I have read! We grow from the things that we learn won’t work and thrive from the discoveries that do work!
Good for you for giving it your best shot. The more you try, the more you fail, but also the more you will succeed. We learn so much from our failures. If you never fail, you’ll never succeed. Go out there and give it all you’ve got!
Thank you! I like that too, “If you never fail, you’ll never succeed.” That may have to be a future GIF to make for the page!
Our pastor spoke about fears and emotions over ruling those things that should be driving us to move forward. (Spirit if God). I think I let my fears take our a great deal of the time. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
Same here. I still fear a lot of things, but luckily I’m realizing that I can reach out to others who have experienced the same thing! Thank you so much for your comment!
Crazy how our fears can define us, but when and if we overcome them they can become a powerful tool. Thank you for sharing that moment in your life. I still recall a few of my moments to fear.
Thank you! The important thing is that you chose to push forward despite those fears! No matter what happens, take pride in your strength for that!
[…] P.S. Do you want to learn a new skill or pursue a dream but are afraid of messing something up? It’s okay. From my embarrassing blunder at a performance years ago, it taught me a valuable lesson about the importance of mistakes that you can check out here: Successful Mistakes! […]
[…] P.S. Do you want to explore new opportunities but are nervous about messing up or failing? It’s okay and that’s normal to feel that way. I felt the same way with my embarrassing performance blunder that you can check out in our blog “Successful Mistakes”! […]
[…] I was afraid that I either didn’t know enough or just wasn’t good enough. In an earlier blog, Successful Mistakes, I shared how I ended up with stage fright in front of the whole school body during our closing […]
[…] P.S. Do you want to pursue something new but are nervous about making a mistake? Check out how learning from your missteps can still lead towards your goals in our blog link here: Successful Mistakes! […]
[…] P.S. Do you want to pursue something new but are nervous about making a mistake? Check out how learning from your missteps can still lead towards your goals in our blog link here: Successful Mistakes! […]
I am a writer and was so nervous to read in public at first. I went to a public speaking training by Johanna Walker in Boulder, Colorado and the bit that was transformative for me was when she said, “It’s OK to be seen.” I also ended up taking some aikido with my son, and two parts of that practice helped me: “First, relax completely.” You think and move better if you are relaxed. That’s so different from the messages we hear all the time that so show you take something seriously you must be afraid. Also, “Perform with confidence.” Now I really do feel excited rather than scared when I’m in the public eye. We’re here on the planet for a reason – it’s OK to be seen and heard. 🙂
I love your story, Erin! I’m glad that your perspective of being open to the public eye changed positively! That’s also interesting that Aikido played a key role in helping you to relax during public occasions. I admire that the lessons from a range of events can help in other various endeavors!
[…] Successful Mistakes […]
[…] Successful Mistakes […]
[…] Successful Mistakes […]
[…] Successful Mistakes […]