Have you ever worked somewhere that had you dreading every time your alarm clock went off? Or how about seeing a supervisor or manager and could swear up and down they had the power to suck the joy out of any given room? Chances are high that these individuals lacked leadership skills, and the results can be devastating to those who must work alongside these people. Here are things to look for in a good leader.
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Remember that not everyone knows what you know.
A difficult thing for anyone to remember is that we all have grown up in various cultures and environments. No individual will know everything that we have knowledge of because not everyone has experienced the exact same things that we have.
My first job was at a skating rink as a Floor Guard, so I watched over the skaters. One day, I was asked to assist with the morning beginner skating lessons for our young students. It sounded easy enough. I had observed earlier lessons and it seemed straight-forward. My group started off on the carpet to learn how to balance and move forward on the skates. I thought, “Wow, all of you are fast learners! Let’s go ahead and put you on the actual skate floor!”
The kids took off confidently! Then, one by one, their faces went from ecstatic to slightly concerned to full-on panic! It didn’t take long for me to realize that I forgot to teach one more important lesson before releasing them onto a slick surface at their beginner top speeds. Based on their precious terrified faces and their now wild turkey-like motions, it was clearly obvious that those poor kids had not been taught how to STOP!
Luckily, no kid was hurt from their desperate crash landings, but it was an important lesson for me to learn that just because it seems like common sense to me doesn’t mean that someone completely new will know this information!
It may seem tedious at first, but please don’t assume that those you are leading will know everything, even if it seems obvious to you. Either ask if they are aware of a certain topic, or just explain it anyway and say it’s a refresher. Don’t allow your team to crash due to neglect of proper training!
Be specific with your instructions.
If someone told us to respond to customers’ inquiries promptly, what does that mean? Within an hour? How about within that shift? Within 24 hours? We’re not mind-readers, and even if we were, some instructions would still seem vague if the person providing the instruction didn’t even know what they wanted!
Provide both positive and constructive feedback.
Don’t be the bearer of ONLY bad news. People will dread when they see you coming if this is the case. Imagine it like hearing your parents call you by your full name. When has that EVER been for a good reason? Seriously! If I heard my mom shout, “Kyndall Rachell Bennett, get down here and explain these amazing grades!” I would be trying to keep my heart from having a panic attack!
There is a recommendation to praise in public and reprimand in private. This just means that we shouldn’t go out of our way to embarrass someone over a mistake. Things happen. If they do good though, let them know that you appreciate what they have done! If you know that someone doesn’t like attention drawn to them, then sure praise them in private, but never foster a negative environment. All that will do is discourage the team from making improvements.
Listen carefully, especially to feedback.
It’s a lot easier to give critique than to receive it, but we all have something we can improve on. It’s important to listen to the people we are in charge over because there may be something that we do that isn’t clear to those that we are responsible for. Listen carefully for “um”s or extended silent periods during conversations because this could indicate a bit of confusion in the instruction.
Encourage questions.
Nobody likes to feel like they’re behind on anything, but it’s also frustrating when we feel like we have no one to ask to help us catch up. Heck, I’ve been in situations in the military where I needed help when studying helicopter mechanics, and I would have guys who were senior to me ask, “How do you not know this?” It’s discouraging! Luckily, I had some great leaders who heard about this issue and pulled me aside to explain what I wasn’t understanding. It normally took less than an hour to train me most days, but that training stuck with me throughout the duration of my enlistment! Being approachable is a very important characteristic to look for in a good leader.
Don’t try or pretend to be perfect.
Voice when you’ve made a mistake. Show that you’re willing to be modest and honest about an unfavorable situation. No one is perfect. Although there may be a fear of appearing incompetent, more people actually respect when their leader is willing to accept responsibility if they are at fault. And remember to be accountable for your teammates as well. As leaders, we are responsible for ensuring that our team has the resources that they need, so if a team member makes a mistake due to lack of information, it’s not “You made a mistake! Go fix it!” but “We made a mistake, so let’s figure out how to fix it!”
Learn to lead.
No one is a born leader. We learn by following good leaders and by observing their positive impacts on others. We can also learn from bad leaders on what NOT to do from the personal experience of dealing with them. If you are currently using LinkedIn Learning, I have some recommended courses below if you are interested in learning more about leadership. If you do not have an account but would like to watch the videos, no worries! You can try a free month trial here!
- Becoming a Thought Leader
- Body Language for Leaders
- Bill George on Self Awareness, Authenticity, and Leadership
Now let’s hear from you!
Have you ever had to deal with a bad leader, whether they were a manager, supervisor, teacher, family member, etc.? What did you learn from them about how NOT to lead? Who in your life is a good leader? In what ways have they been a positive influence in your life? Please share your story in the comments! If you found this blog helpful, share it with friends. If you would like to read more stories and receive other learning opportunities, please subscribe to our newsletter!
And as always, please remember to live your life one story at a time!
Take care,
Kyndall Bennett from Kyrabe Stories
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What a wonderful article! Yes, having a bad leader is toxic and demoralize the dynamic of the team. I experienced one before so I had to find another job as I knew nothing would be done. A few others in the team went on a sick leave. Sad really…
Thank you! Sorry I missed your comment too. What’s really bad is that many good companies are driven down because they don’t realize that the leaders they appointed are driving good employees away!
Sound advice. Being positive is something I strive for. Also, listening is important to me.
Thank you, Laura. I think that learning to stop and listen might sometimes be the hardest lesson for new leaders to learn. ❤
This was a fantastic post Kyndal!l! Leadership is such an important quality. Unfortunately not everybody knows how to effectively lead. Luckily – the skill can be taught!
Thank you! OMG, I’m so glad that leadership skills can be taught! For many, I think it’s just a matter of shoving their pride to take the time to learn it…
Leadership & managerial skills are definitely some you hone and develop over time. I have had my fair share of difficult “leaders” whom I would silently refer to as a “young soul” 🙂 They did, however, hone my patience levels!!
Lol, even bad leaders can teach us at least what NOT to do! ? Congrats on increased patience. It’ll come in handy over time!
Aww, you guys are adorable! I was a high school math teacher and used many of these same ideas in the classroom with students. They definitely respond better to positivity, encouragement and constructive criticism. We hired a lady as part of admin for a couple years that would criticize our teaching skills and rarely make positive comments, all in the hopes of improving MCA scores. We called her Scary Mary. Many of us barely hung in there because of the stress caused by her presence alone. Fortunately, she was asked to leave, and the whole mood was better. Now she teaches teachers at the university level. Not a great idea!
OMG, “Scary Mary!” ?
I’m glad you all were sparred working with her, but I feel bad for the college students now…Maybe she has had some leadership training by now (hopeful thinking).
Lol I just found out this weekend she was let go from that job too.
This is great. I holds for parenting, too!!!!!
So true, Karla! Our parents are our first leaders and many times the most influential ones too!
Great post, with some valuable information! I remember my first time roller skating and trying to figure out how to stop! Being a great leader is a wonderful quality to have, you never know who is looking up to you.
So true, Brittany. We could be “leaders” without realizing it based on the situation, but becoming a great one requires a lot of people skills and patience. I hope your learning process to stop was a lot better than those poor kids… ?
This is a great article. I totally agree with the listening part… sometimes as a leader it’s easy to want to talk talk talk, but so much can be learned by listening.
OMG so true, Lisa! I still have people in my life that will talk 98% of the time and it is soooooo draining.
This is really helpful. I’m a teacher, and a lot of this applies to me. Thanks for some things to think about.
Thank you for coming by the blog, Stacey! As a teacher, you’re definitely one of the most influential leaders out there! The fact that you acknowledge areas to work on shows that you sincerely care about being a GOOD leader, so thank you!
Your story about the skate rink is so easy to imagine! You’re right, a good leader is important to our success often times.
Thank you. I do believe that being a good leader takes practice, so I admire those who are willing to openly state that they are still learning. ❤
“Don’t try and be perfect” YESSSSSS YES YES!
Lol! Yeah, I definitely relate more to people who can share their mistakes than with people who appear to have EVERYTHING together.
Great advice! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for visiting by, Robin!
OH what a great article!!!
Thank you, Jen! ?
One of my first jobs as an attorney was for a solo practitioner. She was horrible. She could not lead and was mean to boot! I only lasted a month. Besides that experience, have been very lucky with the leadership at my company. I have been fortunate to work for some great leader who encourage my own thoughts, ideas and goals and aspirations. I thank my lucky stars because I know a lot people are not as lucky.
One good thing about dealing with bad leaders is that it teaches us first hand what NOT to do in a leadership position! At least with anyone who is on your team, I trust that you’d know how to build them up to succeed! ❤
Great list! It’s so hard to be in leardership. I was on our PTA board this year and our president really struggled with always having to seem perfect. It made for a very long year.
Ugh, I believe you. It’s okay to appear human since we are…just human! I relate more to people that can share their mistakes than with people who seem to have it all together.
Listening is an important skill for leaders and anyone really. Thanks for a great article!
Thank you for visiting by, Linathao! ?
Having a bad leader can poison those around him/her. It becomes a toxic situation where nobody can succeed. I recently removed myself from a situation like this (after one of the best leaders I’ve known retired) and now I’m my own boss.
I’m grateful that you were able to get out of a toxic environment, but I hate more that the environment was toxic in the first place. So many potentially good businesses never realize how much internal damage a bad leader can do until after it’s too late.
This is a great post. Good leadership skills is something that needs to be taught in our schools. I have had several horrible leaders and they will benefit from reading this post. ?
Lol! Thank you, Carolina! I agree that at least a small course in good leadership should be added to a school’s curriculum. No one is “born” a good leader.
All great tips! We will all find ourselves in a leadership position at some point – even if it is not official title – and these are great to keep in mind!
True. There’s no telling who all is looking up to us for guidance at any given moment.
The poorest leader that I’ve had to work with wanted to micromanage and control everyone. He ultimately ended up losing his whole team, including me. His business failed shortly after that.
Since that time, I’ve been my own boss. I much prefer that!
It’s sad how potentially good businesses can be destroyed by the hands of a bad leader. My fiance ended up switching jobs due to a micro-manager. He liked the position, but that bad leadership wasn’t worth it in the end.
A bad leader is poison for sure, you have some great advise here for being a positive leader!
Thank you, Angela! Yeah, I can always think of a few that almost had me say, “Screw it, I’m out of here!” ?
Being a leader is a choice. Sometimes it can be hard. It’s great to always set an example.
Yeah, and many people choose to become leaders before even realizing what it truly means to be one!
My husband just got a masters in leadership and it is so interesting to listen to everything he tells me about it! You mentioned a lot of it here and I love it! You had so many great points! Being a good leader has such a huge impact on the workplace, and we so often see that the reason for a toxic workplace stems from a leader not knowing how to lead well!
I didn’t know that one could get a masters in Leadership, but that’s such an important skill to have (or at least understand)! Kudos to your husband for pursuing that because leadership is strong enough to either build a team to greatness or shatter it to a million pieces.
Great advice!!! It is sooo important to mix the grows and glows!!! Great leaders encourage self motivation!!!
Thank you and so right! Confidence is important all around!
Great points! It’s also important to remember that your team should be smarter and more talented than you in a variety of ways. Empower them to run with responsibility, clear the path, and get out of their way! <3
I love that saying, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in trouble!” Leadership requires growth from both sides!
Great essay. I have dealt with several not so great leaders, and I honestly haven’t been involved with many great ones. I have had to rise to the position of leader without a lot of choice, and I had to learn as I went. I think the real key to good leadership is leading with love and by example. When we forget love, we end up killing ourselves as leaders, and then telling our employees or those following us, “suck it up. If I can do it, so can you.”
I’m so glad you’ve learned to incorporate those lessons as a leader! You’re right. It’s easy to forget that we all don’t have the same skills as someone else may have. Thank you for allowing your people room to learn and grow! ❤
This list is spot on! Your roller skating story made me laugh and I am glad no one was hurt but it’s so true! Not everyone has the same knowledge you do and it’s important to be patient and kind when relaying the information.
Thank you! ? Those lessons were given over a decade ago, so sometimes I wonder if the kids (now in high-school, I believe) ever share how their skate instructor forgot to teach them how to stop!
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