The Truth Shall Set You Free: Learning To Be Accountable!

Learning to be accountable can be a challenge. It is so much easier to place the blame of an unfortunate event on someone else. If I make it to work with barely a minute to spare, I’m already mentally cussing out at least three drivers who were more focused on their phones than the green lights that allow maybe ten cars in heavy traffic to get through on a good day! 

Once we cast away the blame, we excuse ourselves from considering solutions that could have benefited us and avoided the unpleasant situation, like leaving ten minutes earlier for a buffer in case of a delay or two…or more if you drive in a bigger city. 

We cannot control the actions of others nor can we predict what others will say or do, but we can take control of our own actions to improve a situation. That, however, requires us to take ownership of the situation. 

Disclosure: this blog is connected to an Affiliate Partnership. At absolutely no extra cost to you if you choose to click on the book recommendation at the end of this blog and make a purchase, we at Kyrabe Stories might receive a small commission as a thanks for your loving support (and desire to learn and save)! Thank you, and I hope you enjoy this blog!

Now, what do I mean about taking ownership of a situation?

I’m not saying that we must take the blame for every little thing that goes wrong at our job, home, community, etc. We’re not Akon! (“Sorry, Blame on Me”, anyone? Am I the only one that still jams to that song? Anyone? Okay…)

I’m saying to take a moment to analyze an unfavorable situation and brainstorm ways that we can either resolve the issue or avoid it all together the next time around. 

Here’s a personal example!

Let’s say my route to work crosses over a railroad track and a train normally creeps slowly through whenever I’m trying to make it to my shift. Initially, I could panic and complain whenever I see those blinking red lights and the crossing bars go down as I debate on whether to call my manager AGAIN about cutting it close, or…

1. I could leave earlier to work around the train’s schedule.
2. I could take a different route that avoids the slow train crossing completely.

See where I’m going with this? Maybe a train’s schedule is spontaneous and it’s hard to predict the outcome, or maybe there was an accident and traffic is delayed another thirty minutes to an hour. The accountability now would be to call someone to let them know about the situation. Were we responsible for the surprise train trip or three-car accident? Nope! We’re just accounting for our time-management by letting our leaders, managers, teachers, parents, friends, etc. know that this is the situation and how we’re taking care of it. This is one of many ways of learning to be accountable.

Here’s another personal example: 

Back in college, I had a Professor for an Art History course that taught at a level WAY too advanced for my delicate brain when I was expecting it to be an entry-level course (History has always been my worst subject)! 

I was an A/B student from elementary to high school, so I automatically faulted the Professor for my solid D+ in Art History. This was AFTER midterms with only two grading opportunities remaining. Both were essays and weighted high on percentage… My hopes for passing this class dropped deeper than the lowest point in the ocean!

This was the first (and only) course I had ever withdrawn from, and I was ANGRY at this Professor. I even discouraged all my friends from taking her and shared my frustration with those who either previously withdrew from her courses too or just accepted their unfortunate fate. 

Here’s the shocker though: I eventually came across a student who actually LIKED this Professor! It took a good five minutes for my colleague to fully convince me that she wasn’t being sarcastic! Come to find out, this student was majoring in Art History and embraced the extra challenges that this Professor provided. Although this Professor’s Art History courses tortured a majority of us, I forgot that there were students that needed the extra challenge to reach their own potential. 

I share this story because it’s easy to forget that there are multiple sides to any situation.

When we focus on learning to be accountable, it’s important to acknowledge multiple views of a situation, not just the one that we initially are involved in. I was angry that the Professor didn’t teach at my level of understanding, but at the same time had I known about RateMyProfessors.com (please use this site if you are registering for classes now), I could have discovered for myself that this Professor taught at an advanced level! I then could have just enrolled with a Professor that taught at my level. From that point, I was able to not only choose a Professor that better suited my learning preferences, but I was able to readjust my critique to warn…I mean advise other students that if they preferred advanced learning for this particular topic, then go with the enrollment; otherwise, research another available course. 

Accountable Improvements

It’s not easy to step back and analyze a situation to figure out in what ways we can revise the outcomes, but many cases, actively tracking what we are doing to fix the issue is validation of our own personal growth and desire to make improvements. Check out these scenarios of an accountable person:

• “Go fix it!” vs. “Let’s figure out how to fix it.” 
• “You screwed up!” vs. “There was a mistake, but it’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”
• “You’re going nowhere with this!” vs. “Are you stuck somewhere? How can I help?” 

See how just accepting a helpful action can change the whole perspective of a situation? 

Building our trust-worthiness and respect

Some might worry that taking ownership of a situation might cause some people to not like us anymore. Maybe they’ll think we’re careless or maybe they’ll think we’re the reason unfortunate things keep happening to them, so why risk losing their acceptance for the sake of “improvements”? 

Fair warning, but I’m probably about to strike a nerve with someone for this reality check, but it needs to be said: It is impossible to please everyone! We’re going to make enemies! No matter what we try to do or say, they are going to despise every bone in our body. Learn it. Repeat it. Accept it. 

And know that it’s not you. It’s them. 

There will be people in this world who will loathe us solely because we’re trying to better ourselves. Petty, right? I truly wish I could back up and say that I’m exaggerating on this one. I’ve experienced it enough to instead say that those previous words are the family-friendly edition of what to expect from some people in our lives. 

It’s not about gaining acceptance from those who would rather see us get ran over by the Magic School Bus. Let them be. They’re not worth our time (or sanity). It’s about earning the trust and respect from those who want to see us do better because those people will hold themselves accountable for pushing us to do better! Great leaders understand that mistakes happen, and true leaders will know not only when to own up to those mistakes but also when to step in and help resolve a mistake, especially if it’s from someone on their team because they understand being accountable for their trainee’s education and growth. 

I close off this post about learning to be accountable with a short video. The message is less than three minutes long. It’s called “Creating a Culture of Accountability”. It gives a great example of the difference between Accountability and Responsibility to better emphasize our discussion today.

And now for our book recommendation!

Are you interested in books about learning to be accountable? This book recommendation will be starring Jen Sincero’s “You Are a Badass” series. If you love witty humor and don’t mind the straight talk reality checks, then these will be great reads, especially if you’re interested in learning more about being accountable about your own happiness!

Now I want to hear from you! Have you had a situation where you had to find a solution for an issue that wasn’t planned for? Please comment below how you resolved it! If you enjoyed our story today, please subscribe to our newsletter for more stories and updates! If you think a friend would find this blog helpful, please share it on social media with them!  

And overall, remember to just live your life one story at a time! 

Take care, 

Kyndall Bennett from Kyrabe Stories 

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