So you’ve landed a leadership role, or you’re in that transitional phase, congratulations! Now comes the question nobody really prepares you for: “Wait…how am I actually supposed to lead?”
Here’s the truth that many leadership trainings won’t tell you straight away: there is no single “right” way to lead. And for women especially, the pressure to fit into a pre-existing leadership mold can feel suffocating. The good news? You don’t have to. In fact, trying to squeeze yourself into someone else’s leadership style might be one of the biggest mistakes you could make.
Let’s talk about how to build a leadership style that is completely, authentically, powerfully yours from scratch.
If you’re working on leadership development, then this post is an extension of She’s Meant to Lead. It provides practical, women-centered strategies for building confidence, leading with clarity, and navigating leadership responsibilities with emotional intelligence.
Busy schedule? Listen to the audiobook on Audible here!
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Thank you sincerely for your support and for your desire to learn and grow!
Be honest: have you ever watched someone in a meeting lead a presentation like a corporate drill sergeant and thought, “Maybe I should just try that”? If so, you’re not alone. Women are often surrounded by leadership examples designed by men, for men, so it’s natural that many of us try to replicate those models.
But here’s what She’s Meant to Lead has to say in chapter 1, Female Leaders Through History and Their Challenges:
“One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to copy the leadership styles of men. This is not because men’s leadership styles are wrong, but because we are trying to be someone we aren’t. We will never truly achieve the success that belongs to us when we try to be someone we aren’t.”
So, the very first step to building your personal leadership style? Give yourself full permission to stop performing someone else’s version of leadership. You have characteristics that are uniquely yours, and there is a leadership style that matches them. Which brings us to the next step!
You can’t build a leadership style on a shaky foundation, and that foundation is self-awareness. Before modeling yourself after anyone else, spend some quality time getting to know yourself:
As She’s Meant to Lead puts it in chapter 1:
“The most effective leaders are self-aware. This means they know their strengths, weaknesses, and styles and adapt them to meet different scenarios.”
You might be surprised by what you discover about yourself when you actually stop and look inward. This allows you to better understand how you prefer to engage with others, and from here you can explore how that can be expressed in different leadership styles. But which ones, exactly?
She’s Meant to Lead breaks down fourteen common leadership styles in Chapter Two, and understanding those selected styles is like being handed an incredible toolkit. The affiliative leader prioritizes people and harmony. The coach invests in developing each person on the team. The democratic leader values everyone’s input. The visionary dreams big and brings others along for the ride. The servant leader believes that leading means serving others first.
The goal isn’t to pick just one and stick with it forever. The goal is knowing them well enough to draw from any of them when the situation calls for it, which brings us to the next point.
One of the most empowering concepts in the book is situational leadership. Rather than locking yourself into one style, a situational leader adapts depending on what the team or moment actually needs.
As the book explains in chapter 2, Learning More About Yourself and Your Leadership Style:
“A situational leader is one who will adapt their leadership style depending on the situation or needs of the team… the more situational your leadership becomes, the more effective your leadership will be.”
Some days, your team needs you to be patient and encouraging. Other days, they need you to be decisive and clear. The best leaders aren’t rigid in their ways; they’re fluid!
If there’s one style She’s Meant to Lead particularly champions for women, it’s transformational leadership. Transformational leaders inspire people, build genuine relationships, and use emotional intelligence to create workplaces where people actually want to show up and do their best work.
In chapter 2, the book notes that the traits of a transformational leader: open-mindedness, active listening, emotional intelligence, and problem-solving, align naturally with the strengths many women already bring to leadership. This isn’t about limiting women to a “softer” style. It’s about recognizing that these traits are incredibly powerful and should be leaned into, not suppressed.
Building an authentic leadership style doesn’t mean being endlessly accommodating. Part of finding your voice is knowing when to push back, speak up, and hold firm. As Mary Barra, CEO of General Motors, says, “If someone calls you bossy because you didn’t let them push you around, so be it.”
Your leadership style absolutely has room for fierceness.
Here’s some reassurance: you won’t build your personal leadership style overnight, and you’re not supposed to. This is a learning journey and a gradual growth process.
Your style will grow as you grow, and that’s not a flaw in the plan. That is the plan.
You already have what it takes. Now it’s just about building the style that lets the world see it.
Ready to go deeper? She’s Meant to Lead by Kyrabe Stories is your complete roadmap to becoming the leader you were always meant to be. Grab your copy today.
Bye for now,
The Kyrabe Stories Team
If you’re working on career growth, confidence, or professional boundaries, you may find these resources helpful as next steps.
If this post sparked reflection around leadership, responsibility, or redefining what success looks like for you, 🔗 She’s Meant to Lead dives deeper into building clarity with your team and confidence within yourself as you grow in your career. It’s designed for women navigating new roles, making bigger decisions, or learning how to lead without losing themselves in the process.
If your goals involve speaking up more confidently, whether in interviews, meetings, or everyday workplace conversations, 🔗 She’s Meant to Speak offers practical guidance on advocating for yourself with clarity and purpose. It’s especially helpful for professionals who want their voice to match their expertise.
If this topic resonates with identifying your top skills, seeking support, or pursuing better opportunities, 🔗 She’s Meant to Negotiate offers actionable strategies for navigating career and financial conversations with confidence. It’s a strong next step for readers who want to align their goals with what they truly deserve.
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